Trope A Day-Stop Worshiping Me/Unwanted False Faith

Stop Worshiping Me/Unwanted False Faith-Alicorns.

Full stop.

To say that alicorns are powerful is like saying the sun is a little warm, the sea is a little salty, and hard vacuum is short on breathable material. Twenty-seven beings that the Equestrian ponies revere in various degrees of worship from “the very hoof beats of Faust on the universe” to “very powerful beings that you should respect for that power.” The weakest can kill starships in orbit, the strongest and eldest among them are basically “do not attack, unless you want to prove there is life after death by direct examination.” They are capable of many things…

…but, some things are beyond them. They cannot bless. They cannot bring back the dead (the truly dead, not someone that died but has a cortical stack). They cannot heal beyond what is available by technology. And, the process of becoming an alicorn, Ascention, is something that an alicorn can only provide guidance once the pony has made it half-way there. Whatever counts as half-way for that particular pony.

But, this doesn’t stop ponies from trying to pray. To beg for a miracle. To ask for a blessing. To pour faith into twenty-seven being that for the most part…can only do what they can do and not much else.

For at least six hundred years, the alicorns of Equestria have been trying to reduce the size of the pedestals that they have been put on by ponies. So far…there hasn’t been too much reduction.

With Enough Printer Paper…

The laser jet printers-ten of them so far-hadn’t stopped whirring the moment she brought the first USB stick back.

Sunset Shimmer…no, Princess Sunset Shimmer looked at the room near the Mirror of Worlds that Princess Celestia and Princess Cadence had set up.  From floor to ceiling was piles of text books, reference works, rolls of blueprints, and thousands upon thousands of USB drives that she had made recordings of, well, everything from Earth.  Ponies came from the printers and took another pile of printed notes to be bound, organized, and indexed.

“And, they don’t know how to use magic?”  Princess Celestia asked.

“The other Twilight Sparkle is trying,” Princess Sunset Shimmer said, twitching her new wings in frustration.  These had appeared the first time she had come back through the Mirror to Equestria.  “She’s got some theories, but she doesn’t want to make it public because…”

“I don’t think humans are that irresponsible,” Princess Cadence interrupted.  “They seem to be a decent species, for omnivores that don’t have magic.”

“She doesn’t want to take that risk,” Princess Sunset Shimmer replied.  “And, to be honest, I can’t blame her.  I was human for the last seven years and humans have such a range in comparison to ponies that it’s terrifying.  Greater range for nobility-and a greater range for atrocities.  I’ve read in their histories things that would make King Sombra vomit to consider doing.  And, he practiced blood magic.”

“So, what are your plans for the next time you go back?”  Princess Celestia asked, curiously.

“Same as before,” Princess Sunset Shimmer nodded at the piles of paper that grew, coming out of the printer.  “Bring diamonds to Earth and sell them, use the money to get more reference materials.  We really need to bring more ponies into this,” she noted.  “Dreamers, innovators, and ponies that can think.  Just the improvement to steam engines and the idea of organized agriculture alone is going to change the face of Equestria.”

“And, I want you think ahead,” Princess Celestia noted.  “On both sides of the Mirror.  We can bring innovations that we’ve created here, and make their world better.  And, as the technology improves there, we can make use of that ourselves.”

Princess Sunset Shimmer thought about this for a moment.  “A new court for Equestria?”

“I’m thinking of something larger,” Princess Celestia replied, her eyes thoughtful.  “Twilight Sparkle’s newest student might Ascend soon, and I am tired of some of the deference that alicorns get just because of what we are.  I’m going to create a whole new branch of government.  I’m calling them ‘Ministries’, and the first three are going to be formed on the backs of three alicorns.  The first is the Ministry of Love, and we’re going to help ponies to find what they want and what they love, and help them to be happy.”

“Auntie,” Princess Cadence started to object, “I’m way too busy trying to bring the Crystal Kingdom into the current century, let alone take on another task like this.”

“I expect your job to be more managerial than ‘hooves on’,” Princess Celestia interrupted gently.  “By providing the Ministries with alicorn leadership, I think it’ll cut through a lot of the deference and conservatism that our little ponies have.  The second Ministry is going to be the Ministry of Magic, and I’m giving that one to Twilight Sparkle.  She’ll find new ways to use magic, and if she can cooperate with the other Twilight Sparkle on the other side of the mirror, we can create greater wonders.

“And, finally,” Princess Celestia said, turning to face Princess Sunset Shimmer.  “The third Ministry that I’m going to create is the Ministry of Innovation.  You’re going to find the dreamers, the innovators, and the ponies that can think; and show them everything here, in one form or another.  We’re going to avoid the worst parts of the Industrial Revolution here on Equestria and bring ourselves closer to the stars.”

Princess Sunset Shimmer stood stock still, eyes wide open for a moment.  “That’s…a major task.”

“Nothing less for one of my greatest students,” Princess Celestia replied.

The printers continued to hum, spitting out page after page.

Trope A Day-Pony Of Mass Destruction

Pony Of Mass Destruction-Short version, do not piss off an alicorn.  Don’t make them angry enough that they want to break out the entire toybox of means they can deal with threats.  The weakest and youngest of all alicorns, Prince Lucifer Morningstar, once picked off battleships from the surface of the planet he was on.  Without a magical amplifier, killing each ship with single shots.  He was tired when he was done, but that was about eight battleships later.

What one of the older alicorns could do almost beggars the imagination.  In theory, Princess Celestia could turn Equestria’s sun into a Lensman-scale sunbeam.  Princess Luna could drive you mad in your nightmares that would never end, even if you were wide awake.  Princess Cadence, the weakest of the four eldest ponies, could destroy every feeling of love and loyalty you ever had (and this is a state secret so high even other alicorns don’t know about this).  And, Princess Twilight Sparkle?  She’s the head of the Ministry of Magic, one of the three ponies in charge of the Ministry of Ghosts, and has access to all the toys.

(Also, they have control, as much as sheer power.  Any “Fall of Equestra”-type situation would end in this universe by the simple fact that Celestia could and would teleport instantly a pinprick sized piece of stellar plasma into the heads of every invading Caribou.  Tiny pin-prick sized piece, just enough to reduce their heads to an instant cloud of floating red mist…)

Trope A Day-Tomboy Princess

Tomboy Princess-Which one?  Princess Luna is this, with Badass Princess attached.  Princess Flurry Heart has rebelled against being “cute” in any way she can (with the occasional return to prim and proper).  Princess Apple Fritter is more of the “scraped knees and get outdoors” sort of tomboy.

It’s interesting to watch when they have to be prim and proper.

Trope A Day-Alicorn Job Security

Alicorn Job Security-Something that twenty-five of twenty-seven alicorns would love to get rid of ASAP.  Every pony keeps trying to put them on a pedestal, either to worship them or take pot-shot at them.  Six hundred years of genetic modifications has resulted in a definite reduction in the size of pedestals that they get put upon.  Mind you, alicorns tend to be very competent and usually do very well in running whatever they do.  With some teething pains, which is always fun to watch at a safe distance.

(The two alicorns that don’t mind?  Prince Dusk Shine (whom is an IT nerd that has found a home that lets him play with ALL THE TOYS) and Princess Soft Light (she loves playing with cameras and lights and models as a part of the Ministry of Dreams).)

Trope A Day-Can’t Argue With Alicorns

Can’t Argue With Alicorns-Something which most alicorns hate with a passion.  Most ponies find it very hard to argue directly with alicorns, with a hesitant passive-aggressive “well, I don’t want to impose” being the best most can do.  For a lot of ponies, it’s worse.  Ask Princess Cadence about what it took for her to get the Crystal Ponies to not worship the ground she walked on, and watch her have several bottles of very potent alcohol to help her forget again.  This particular trait of ponykind might be genetic, it might be memetic, it might be cultural…and something that six hundred years of work has only managed to get down to “well, they aren’t worshiping us as deities now.”

There is one particular exception to this, and the alicorns use this little trait as hard as they can.  Ponies will argue with alicorns-in defense of “their” alicorn.  This is the reason for the Ministries, twenty six independent parts of government run by one of the twenty-seven alicorns in existence.  By having an alicorn that is in charge, the ponies in the Ministry will fight to defend “their” alicorn from all the other alicorns…most of the time.  Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, in charge of the Day and Night Courts respectively, also make use of this in allowing for arguments and the management of the Equestrian government.

All the other races have absolutely no problem with saying “screw you, alicorns,” except they usually don’t.  Mostly because the weakest alicorn can take out warships from the surface-individual annoyances can easily be made to vanish in a puff of greasy smoke.